BEST WISHES!!

To my instructor and colleagues,

I feel as if I am living what we have all learned throughout the past eight weeks. We are here at the "Adjourning Phase" of our collaboration!! I am so excited for all of us to be moving forward on our journey towards our Master's Degree. However, I will miss each of you so much! I wish each of you the very best and I look forward to seeing you all at graduation because we are one step closer to our destiny. Keep up the wonderful work and I will see you soon.

Kindest Regards,

Berdetta Clark

IT'S SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE!!

Saying, "Goodbye" is always so very difficult for me. I can remember how difficult is was to say to my Comrades when leaving Basic Training, and just recently when we relocated to North Carolina from Virginia and I had to leave my team from the Child Development Center and Academy I managed for six years. Our team had gone through the forming, storming, norming and performing stages and now the adjourning stage was upon us. I can remember when I was first hired as the Director. I came into a situation that was very volatile. There was a high turnover rate and many of the staff members didn't take pride in their work. Then there were those with very strong personalities that almost took on a dictator role in the center. They felt since they had worked there for so long, they were in charge. I must admit, the forming stage was very difficult because I had to evaluate the team's current performance and decide if a new team was necessary or if we could continue with the current team. Depending upon how you look at the process, we had to form a "new" team which meant keeping some of the current team members but changing their mindset and hiring new staff members. The storming stage where, "They have different opinions on what should be done and how it should be done - which causes conflict within the team. As they go progress through this stage, with the guidance of the team leader, they learn how to solve problems together, function both independently and together as a team, and settle into roles and responsibilities on the team (Abudi, 2010)." was especially difficult for those who were very opinionated. I can remember having to have several one on one conversations with individuals in order to curtail the intimidation of others their strong personalities caused. In the end the norming and performing stages were very successful. The employee turnover rate decreased tremendously which caused the enrollment to increase. During our adjourning stage, there were a lot of tears. I felt as if I was leaving my family. When I go back to visit, many of the same team members are still there and I can proudly say that they had learned so much from my leadership style because in essence, they had moved on to their various areas and appreciated how I made the vision clear, managed very difficult situations and was never afraid to model expected behavior for them. I miss them so much but it is like a reunion when we all get together. I can honestly say this team was one of the most challenging but most rewarding teams I have every worked on.

When I think about my team at Walden University, I have had a wonderful experience with this group of wonderful people. I think those of us who will meet face to face for the first time at our graduation will be super excited and experience a new level of unity. I never thought I would feel such a closeness from attending an online University because I am a face-to-face person however, I was so wrong. This has been a very unique experience for me.

Adjourning is a very important stage of a team because at some point the individuals must branch out and put what they have built to work. We must learn from one another and move out to teach others. Also, adjourning is important because sometimes we must be careful not to establish cliques and splinter groups that will deter others from appreciating the teams contributions to the project.


References:

Abudi, G. (2010). The five stages of team development: A case study. Retrieved from http://www.projectsmart.co.uk/the-five-stages-of-team-development-a-case-study.html

Non Violent Communication

This week we are learning about nonviolent communication. As I thought about my week, I realized I am experiencing a very unusual conflict in my personal life. I must admit, I was perfectly content with severing ties with this person simply because I feel as if I have been struggling to have a meaningful relationship for many years. I have tried many strategies, to no avail. So, I had finally resolved to just severing ties. Realistically, this would certainly be one to the hardest things to do because this person is my mother. Yes, my mother. For so many years I have been in conflict with my mother concerning how she enables my older brother. I personally believe it to be a generational habit that has been passed on through our family. For some strange reason, the women in my family have enabled the men in my family. They deemed it necessary to take care of them well into their adult lives which, has made it impossible for the men to take the role as the head of a household. Therefore, there are men in my family who are well into their forties and fifties who have never been married and although they have moved in with several women, have quickly moved back in with their mothers simply because they did not want the responsibilities. I find this to be very unfair to the health and well being of my mother because of the stress that she is constantly under as well as the stress it puts my sister and I under due to the fact that she wants us to “understand” why she continues to bail him out even to detriment of herself.

I honestly thought I just needed to give up on ever having a “normal” relationship with her until this week. “It is important that we do something because whether we like it or not, conflicts demand our energy. In fact, an unresolved conflict can call on tremendous amounts of our attention. We all know how exhausting an unresolved conflict can be. It is not always easy to fix the problem but a great energy boost can come when we do (Conflict Resolution Network, n.d.).” I decided to resolve the conflict by calling and talking with my mother after five months. I decided to use these two strategies:

1. Win/Win which states: “I want to win and I want you to win too (Conflict Resolution Network, n.d.).” I decided to take this approach and in the end, we both felt so much better about the decisions we made to make life much better for ourselves.

2. Go back to needs states: “The most important win/win maneuver you can make is to change course by beginning to discuss underlying needs, rather than only looking at solutions (Conflict Resolution Network, n.d.).” I understand that my children want and need their grandmother in their lives. I also realize that I want and need to have a relationship with my mother. Her feelings were mutual and she realized that she needed to allow my brother to stand on his own two feet so that she will have the time and energy to do exactly what she should be doing at this phase of her life which is enjoying herself and her grandchildren.

I am so thankful for this course and I am excited about the start of a new journey in our lives.


Reference:
Conflict Resolution Network. (n.d.). CR kit. Retrieved from http://www.crnhq.org/pages.php?pID=12#skill_3

WHO AM I AS A COMMUNICATOR?

This portrait is called, "The Confident Woman". My desire is to be as confident as the woman in the this portrait.
As I reflect on myself as a Communicator, I see a woman who is a strong communicator. Although, I tend to get very anxious before speaking in public, the adrenaline really kicks in when I speak. I have been told that I have a really unique way of delivering messages. I am very much a people person and I enjoy talking with others while having a good time in the process.

My husband was one of the people I asked to evaluate me as a communicator. His evaluation was very similar to mine in many areas which of course is no surprise to me. However, on the Communications Anxiety Inventory, his perception of me is that I do not experience any anxiety when asked to speak in public. My mentor was the other person I asked to evaluate me as a communicator. Her perception of me as a communicator is that I experience mild anxiety. After giving that perception some thought, she was correct because I share those thoughts with her as my mentor because of the context of our relationship whereas I tend to shut down communication with my husband.

I gained insight about my listening style as a communicator being that I tend to show empathy towards those I communicate with which could possibly cloud my judgment in some ways. This is an area that I feel I need to work on the most. I feel that empathy is necessary in most areas of communication when used in the appropriate context. However, we must be careful not to allow it to cloud our judgment especially when tough decisions need to be made as educators and administrators.

Communication and Culture

The Crayon Box Talked
Wouldn't it be terrible? Wouldn't it be sad?
If just one single color was the color that we had?
If everything was purple? Or red? Or blue? Or green?
If yellow, pink, or orange was all that could be seen?
Can you just imagine how dull world would be
If just one single color was all we got to see?

Communication is like a rainbow, a bag of M&M's, a box of crayons or a bowl of Skittles. It comes in so many colors and flavors. I enjoy looking at a rainbow in the sky and admiring the many different colors after a wonderful rain shower. The many different flavors of M&M's and Skittles entice my taste buds. I enjoy the many colors in a box of crayons because they remind me of the many different cultures and personalities that make up this world. This is the way I feel about communication.

I enjoy talking to people from all walks of life. Learning about the cultures represented around me is very intriguing to me. I must admit that I do communicate differently with people from different groups and cultures than those within my culture. I am very confident in my culture because there are strong similarities and common interests of those within my culture such as the foods we eat, the holidays we celebrate as well as the places we frequent.

When I am communicating with people from a different group or culture, I take a step back in order to take in the many facets of that culture. I enjoy observing their culture and experiencing it from an observer's perspective. I ask questions and participate in their activities as much as possible. I really have no problem being myself in any environment but I am more reserved when within a different culture. As far as my dialect when verbally communicating with others from a different culture, I find myself being very cautious of the words I use and the tone in which I use them. It is very different than talking to those within my culture because I am able to use phrases and certain slang and be easily understood. I am more relaxed when within my own culture but tend to be slightly guarded when interacting with those from other cultures until I get to know them and feel more comfortable around them.

Moreover, I enjoy all people. It does not matter what culture a person is from. we are all just like that box of crayons. We make a statement alone but scream diversity when put together. I enjoy sampling each color as I paint my picture of life.

That Was NOT What I Thought They Said!!

My favorite show...MONK!

This week's Blog assignment was so much fun! I have a long list of recorded shows already on my DVR so I chose to watch an episode of Monk. Now this show is very difficult to watch even with the volume turned up however, when you watch it with the volume turned down, the facial expressions and body language tell one story but when I turned the volume up and watched the show again, the verbal communication changed my perception of the story all together.

The episode I watched was showed a party scene where men and women were having a party. A couple seemed to be having a good conversation from the looks of their facial expressions and body language with the volume turned down, however, when I watched the episode again with they were actually arguing and the woman (to my surprise) was threatening to kill the man. In the end, she was found to be guilty of that murder however, she played the part as the grieving wife throughout the episode. Of course Monk solved the case but even he was deceived throughout most of the episode.

I learned through this exercise that nonverbal cues alone, can lead to misinterpretations of the message someone is trying to send. However, nonverbal cues coupled with verbal communication gives a more clear and effective message to the receiver of the message.

I have found that I pay very close attention to not only what a person is saying but also to the nonverbal messages the person sends when talking to me. Sometimes that is the true message and not so much the words that are coming out of the person's mouth. "Women usually pay more attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues when evaluating their partners and deciding how much of themselves they should reveal to those partners, whereas men attend more to the verbal information alone(O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012)."

Being able to read a person's nonverbal cues is a great tool to use when working in the field of early childhood education because many times a child will not open up to you unless you are able to read their nonverbal cues and ask more open-ended questions that will help the child feel more comfortable about sharing.

Communication is very intriguing and it has been a very interesting journey so far learning about the many different ways to do so both verbally and nonverbally.

My Communication SHE-RO

I must admit that I am super excited about this Communication and Collaboration course. My absolute favorite communicator is Oprah Winfrey. She is simply amazing at anything she puts herself into. I particularly appreciate the fact that the Oprah Winfrey Show gave her a platform from which she was able to impact so many peoples' lives. This influence allowed her to cross racial lines and because of this she is loved by people from all walks of life. Oprah is a Master Communicator and is able the difficult questions in a non-threatening way which provokes the interviewees to be very candid in their answers. I was always amazed how she is able to capture the essence of the subject at hand.

Oprah inspires me to set my sights on a goal and persevere until I accomplish them. I am so encourage by the school she opened in South Africa which is called the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls. I am so excited about one day opening a Child Development Center/Youth Activity Center where I will be able to mentor young children and make a difference in my community.

I strive to continue to grow in the area of communication, not only through written communication but also verbal communication with others. I enjoy the art of communication and I enjoy interacting with others in positive ways.